Happy New Year

I thought I'd write this post an hour before the year ended so I can truly capture all the moments of 2011 and also becasue I wanted to release this post 1 min before New Years for some melodramatic reaction I hope it would give for those not to drink to read it or having to much fun to be reading this blog. Anyway, I'm writing it now because I'm to afraid I'd run out of things to say and my own wit would outwit itself out of my brain(yes I'm trying to be corny).

As the year closes to an end, I'm flooded with a gazzilon thoughts and emotions both running around hysterically inside of me.As it draws to the end, I close all yhe fears, the failures and even successes and new fears play with my mind but as the year ends I cannot help, like every other human being, to reflect what at first seems to be have been the worst year of my life but more than anything a true test of my strength.

This year marks one of the biggest losses I have yet to experience, that of my father and of myself. I have met new people and made new friends and have lost half of them and other old relationships but none seems worse than that of my dad and myself.

I have learnt what it is to fall, what it is to be in pain and what it is to be lost but in all that I have started the real journey of life, I have started the real journey of growth and continue to do so with the love,care and support of family, friends, strangers that have become friends and also God.

As the year draws to an end, I can help but to think of the beginning. There are things I will live behind: old friends, old loves and old mistakes that I cannot change even if I wanted to.However, it marks the start of infinite possibilities both new and old and although I will have to take some baggage with me: healing the wounds my father left behind and repairing the consequences of my mistakes but I feel stronger to live,love and learn.

Before I end this blogpost there are a few thank yous I would fail myself not to mention:

To Ayabonga Bangaza,Xolisa Jezile, Mbasa Twani,Onela Mtilwa, Zizipho Waxa, Nangamso Tyamzashe, Vuyolwethu Mqulo, Uyasithanda Booi, Nomfundo Tyamzashe, Fundile Sangoni, Mosima Thema and Sinazo Sodlula thank you for coming to my rescue when I needed saving, for opening your kind and pure hearts when I had no idea who to turn. I appreciate your friendship and the love, care and wisdom you have brought my way.

To the Mtilwa Family, your love and support have proven strong, loyal and sincere over the years and you continue to pour your love to me and my family.there are no words to describe all you have done and continue to do for my family.

The Tshiki Family especially Bhut Maks, Aunt Khush, Khanya, Lisa and Kwezi, thank you for adopting me and opening your home and hearts to me. You remain and will continue to be in my heart til the end of time.I have no words for everything you have done for me.

To Tsabu Mapike, thank you for your consistent support , your encouragement and strong belief in me, my ideas and my potential. You give me the confidence and will to fight all odds.You have become a big part of my life and heart. I love you.

To Mr L Vlok, My psycologist, besides the fancy feeling of having my own psycologist, I owe you everything for saving me from myself and helping me to stand up when I did not rememba how to and continue to hold my hand in my growth.

To Samantha, I really cannot pronounce or spell your surname(I'm sorry), Thank you for being my light and hope when everything was dark.I Love you.

To Joni Ranton, My loving bf, I know you won't enjoy this public declaration but baby I had to, thank you for being my pillar of strength,for being a part of my life, laugh and joy, for all the support and putting up with me when I could not put up with myself.

To my siblings, you continue to form the bulk of who I am and continue to create memories with me that make my life worth living.I love you all Nzolo, Aliziwe and Mila.You are my soul.

To all my mothers friends, Nombedesho Sikiti, Nombeko Mtilwa, Tinny Tyamzashe, Pumla Tshiki, Bomi Zote, Aunt Buyelwa, Tembisa Mbombo, Zanele Bangaza thank you for mothering me and my mother in one of our darkest years and all the others.The continued love you give my mother reaches us in all its richness.

To my mother, I look at you in awe every single day of my life and I have no idea where you get your strength from.It keeps me strong and it keeps me whole.It builds and teaches me how to live and learn in the right way.You and always will be my everything.Thank you for all your hardwork, sacrifices and love.

To my late father, your memory still burns brightly in our lives.You have been everything to us and still are even in your absence.

Last but not least, thank you to everyone who has walked with me through this blog.It means the world to me.

To those I did not mention, I love you no less and do not take lighlty the impact you have in my life this year.Thank you.

To everyone, Compliments of the new season. May God bless all of you abundantly and may you succedd in all you do but especially in living.

To My beautiful sister Naledi Bangaza, Congratulations!
And Mbasa we will love mthawelanga ayema twni to the end of time.

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012!

I Love You All

Everything is Everything

Couldnt stay away for long

It seems I couldnt stay away for too long. I never left because the spotlight faded (as many tried to insinuate - damn haters), I left because I had to put all I had to discovered into action. What is the point of wisdom if its only o paper. The spotlight is what is bringing me back: After being asked why I have stopped and long debates of why I should come back, I realised my blog is helping others as much as it is helping me. Even if its just for a laugh or two, its making a difference. Although it was never really about the people, I have to come to realise that it is about both of us.

I have also come to learn that you can never be completely free or completely healed because that is when your journey ends, when life ends. A few days ago, some rich guy (forgot his name) said you start failing when you start thinking you are successful. I think that applies for living as a whole.

This year has come with many hurdles and a full basket of blessings only to take me back to step one. However, Im learning that if you are hungry enough for something, you will get it. Do not let man stop you from something bigger than themselves. I though after  timeless occasions of bunking out of hostel, i would have realised that where there is a will, there is a way, but it is only now I truly am learning of that will.

My sister is going to boarding school (just nje by the way) and I just can't hide the fears I have. I pray she turns out nothing I am and listen when mom says all good things come to those who wait. Impatience has a nasty surprise for you.

To everyone, have a merry christmas - while you laugh with your fathers or hope the father you met may still walk through that door, i'll be cleaning my father's grave.


2012 is yours if you choose to

Everything is Everything

Toodles for now

"I'm starting to learn things bwt myself that I ddnt even realise r beautiful....I'm starting to learn that my flaws r human...I'm starting to accpet myslf and loving it" - Anelisiwe Miza

I started this blog beginning of the year to try and deal with life and the world after my father's passing because with it came a whole new confusion of what that is and where i fit in that life and world.

Today, I am nowhere near finishing my grieving for my loss, the hole its created is still as wide as the seven seas but now Im starting to restore myself and my position in life. Its been one hell of a road and Im nowhere near finish. With every new day, is one new blessing and two more downfalls but when you choose life and purpose you realise you can change the world by changing yourself.

Ive lived this year through this blog but now I need to live it with the world. And although this is toodles for now maybe sometime later I can come tell you how becoming my purpose feels like.

To everyone, I hope you figure yourselves out and even if you dont, love yourself dearly, love yourself enough to fight for yourself......

Before i say bye, i think it would be fun to tell you where the signature "Everything is Everything" comes from and no its not from Lauryn Hill's song though it has been one of my favourites.... I once met a guy who at the time I thought was the coolest person on earth and he had sent me one of those charming smsz that make you laugh and giggle on your own of which he had told me I would do. Anyway he had ended that sms by saying I hope everything is everything and for once since ive heard that clause did it really make sense to me and meaning for me and although i couldnt explain it...everything was definitly everything....

To my beautiful family (Nokwanda Miza, Aliziwe Miza, Nzolo Miza, Mila Miza and the Late Gugulethu Miza), my loving boyfriend Joni Ranton and our extended family, thank you for the amazing love and support you continue to allow me to grow in.

  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Prov 4:23

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good."
-Vaclav Havel

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

The Serenity Prayer

This prayer has helped me alot in finding serenity in the most difficult situations and it continues to help me. Thought some of you might need it:


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Everything is Evertyhing

Feels like ive betrayed the love in my life who has never failed in comforting and bringing me back to life(my blog). Simple explanation of my absence is this: When you are falling down, you dont always realise it or you do but choose to deny it and you end up til you fall down.

There are those of us who simply get up and dust themselves and move on(not always easy), then there are those of us who never get up and lastly those who realise they have fallen, wants to get up but have no idea how to.

Its simple when all else fails in your life, there is only one thing to do, start from the beginning. And you might think there is no beginning but where there is a will there is way and if your will is gone then that is your starting point.

Life becomes way more simplier when you stop fighting it all the time and you stop living in other people's lives and face yours.

Seasons do change but there best thing about it its a cycle that never stops.So summer must leave but it will come back no matter how many times it lives.

The worst thing you can ever do is wake up decades later and realise how you could have changed everything. If you believe in fate, believe that you can change if its not the way you want it to be... You cannot run away from fate, many may argue, but you can change how it takes place.

WAKE UP WAKE UP AND WAKE UP...your time to sleep forever will come dont tempt it.

i trust and have no doubt that:


EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

My Everything

Ndinga yhini na ngaphandle kwakho (what would i be without u)

To my dearest mother
You have brought so many women in my life
You have shown me the world and how to try and be a part of it
You, as Jesus serves, served me and every other person in our lives
with love, wisdom,strength and a power that shows we serve a mighty God
You have shown me who is God and to fear Him but Love him and Trust in Only Him
All these women have inspired me tremendously but none like you

To my dearest mother
Youve carried my pains and burdens and that of others
Youve celebrated my victories and that of others
You are Joy. You are Laughter. You are Love

I have watched you sacrfice yourself for others
Ive seen you give your enemy the other cheek as God instructs to and love them
You are a true reflection of God
You are a true reflection of Strength

You have shielded and moulded me over the years. Ive seen you be a teacher not just us to us but your friends as well.

Your humility is what the world needs to live better.You brought me down to earth when i started floating as such i know abantu ngabantu because of all your lessons.

I love you. Continue to bless me with all the inspiratin you bring to my life

You epitomise what every women should be

As I turn 20, I celebrate you as my Number 1 inspirational woman
Phenomonal Woman

Pure Beauty

I always thought she would marry Rowan Cloete while I always pretended that she was me(hides). She was the only reason I watched TV.

I could never specify exactly what made me in awe of this woman but she inspired me because of that. She had this persona about her that demanded respect even in just her smile. She had this ability to lure you even though she was in a mag page or in my tv screen.

I was awfully young back in the simunye days but she was the woman i called a role model whenever the question was asked.. Oh and my dreadlocks(sorry people I wasnt looking at lauryn hill's dreadlocks....claire is the one)

Claire Mawisa has and continues to be my top 31 inspirational ladies

Everything is Everything

Sister Sister

My sisters are everything to me. We fight but we laugh and play at the same time. They continue to inspire me as I was them grow. They are my growth. Aliziwe Miza is my older sister and Mila Miza is my younger one yet they continue to give me power and trength through their beings.

They are without a doubt two of my 31 inspirational ladies

Everything is Everything

August womens month my be over by my 31 ladies arent finished.....

Nkhensani Hlekani nkosi nee Manganyi was born on July 06, 1973. I first met her on Mojo and she gave me one of my first real understanding and glance of natural beauty. I was in awe of this woman who shaved it all off but still had this feminine and power about her.

As if she had stolen my young heart alreadym she founded Stoned Cherrie, one of the defining labels of a great beginning for South African fashion. It is a truly proudly african brand and a true reflection what she stands for and why she has and continues to inspires me...

Everything is Everything

FEEL A SISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nTSIKI mAZWAI

Napo Masheane

Lebo Mashile

Myesha Jenkins

My voice

The women who gave me a voice, my first memory of the spoken word... Feela Sistas!!!!!!!
This group of joy, celebration, depth, speech and every other hypnotic word you can think of consisted of the most worthy of women namely Lebo Mashile, Myesha Jenkins, Ntsiki Mazwai, Napo Masheane.... These women are powerhouse on their own and combined they rocked cultural boundaries, socie limitation, conquered social ills and danced with our nations beauty.

This powerhouse that fused speech with music formed March 2003 and I "met" them beginning of 2004 and it is then that they gave me my mind and voice and wtiting became my everything. I began to realise that I had to ask questions, I began to realise the power that I hold within and sooo much more.

this is a poem i wrote in 2004 that none at the time knew... i had taken my inspiration for feel sista from the four of you:

I have fallen to the bowels of this earth
And risen, risen to an unforsaken world
Of which the heathen have not caressed
From sleep i wished never to wake up
Rather than be part of the fraudlity born of this make up

Introduced to the world of slam
Slam, a vreugde nd voorspoed expression
Of art
Passed on to me and you by them
Who have come to make you and me be
That of which must be conquered...

My eyes to think, the mind to see, my mouth to kill
And my body to talk, I have learned.
A psychedellerious feeling of TNT

When last, when last did my body taste the sweets
Given off by my forefathers
That of them that shreds my skin
That of hem from which I breathe
That of them that kills their tongue
And empowers my soul to scream

Feel a Sista
Feel a Sista speak

It is by this
I declare...
Revived and rejuvenated...
Again...
Beautiful I am

And with that I celebrate all for of you as 4 of my top 31 women who have inspired me

Everything is Everything

Maya's Gift to You....

Phenomenal Woman


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
—Maya Angelou

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

She first whisked me away in the "The Heart of A Woman" though she stole my mind because of the title"I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" which would later become one of my favourite writing by her.

I have fallen in love with her and who she is through her stories in all her writng.

Maya Angelou was born Marguerite Johnson in St. Louis, Missouri, on April 4, 1928. She grew up in St. Louis and Stamps, Arkansas. She is an author, poet, historian, songwriter, playwright, dancer, stage and screen producer, director, performer, singer, and civil rights activist. More than that, She is God's gift to women and all the more reason to sing.

Through her writing we have discovered why she sings and why we can sing. I have been singing since the first time I met her in primary.

She is and always will be my top 31 women who have inspired me and will continue to do so with others.

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." - Maya Angelou

Everything is Everything

THE BLACK SASH

"hayi wena bhuti take it slowly please. ncel'ungandixheshi ungandixheshi". She married my husband-to-be(well at least in my dreams at the time he was) but nonetheless I could not have replaced myself with anyone better through the grace that she holds.

 She inspires me in so many ways I could not even  begin to explain. For me, It goes way beyond her music but her grace, her humility, her warmth, strength and celebration that she holds as a beautiful South African Lady. Her Laughter and her voice invites you to her and inspires you to be you, to be human and love it.

I may not write a whole page about you but continue to sing albums of myself through the influence that you have had on me through radio.

To you, continue to be every women. You display some fragility that can bulldose any building that closes my vision and my dreams. You make femininiy beautiful. You are my top 31 women who have inspired me and I celebrate you this month.

Everything is Everything

BAG LADY

FEARLESS!!! A CULTURE!!!!
Who woud have guessed that the african woman wearing a doek on the red carpet just like in her music video would create her own culture: BADUISM. A culture that only she followed but one that would that would give her the greatest of followings and one that would influence and inspire many a women and men (believe it or not)

Erykah Badu and her psychedelirrious outbursts in song have inspired me nad given me an empowerment, contentment and thirst for life that no other musician has given me...Its lmost like she has this underlying messages in all her songs that screams LIVE!!!!

SHE CONTINUES TO TELL ME TO SCREAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!! and I scream louder.

She is Erykah Badu. She is Culture - She is Baduism. She is Scream. She is Music. She is and She is and She is....on and on!!!!!! She is one of my top 31 women who give me me on a daily basis.

Everything is Everything

Beautifully Human

Jill Scott has always had this glow about her, this presence of joy and beauty that warms your soul from a distance and gives your an instant attraction to her even before hear the first sound of her music, let her alone hte lyrical content. It is exactly after you hear her songs that you immediately understand her glow (and how real it is)

She continues to inspire me through the choice and the way she chooses to embrace and celebrater herself and her sensuality. It is through it that her beauty lies and the soul in her songs is felt.

I conitnue to fall in love with myself every time I listen to her songs and see her explore every piece of herself and as part of women's month I celebrate her as my 31 women who have inspired me and continues to do so..

Everything is Everything

Watch her eyes - "Stolen Note" , Thanks Vuyo Gwayi

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry..

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God,
why do women cry so easily?"

God said

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, Yet gentle enough to give comfort I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and therejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed". "You see," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Please send this to ten beautiful women you know today. If you do, something
good will happen - You will boost another woman's self-esteem.
Pass it on to men too - perhaps they will then understand "why women cry".

I GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Some of us first met her with the fugees and some with sister act but either I do not think I have ever met anyone who could not fall inlove with at least one song from this woman's and above all learn something and ask themselves questions, questions that need answers and asks to somehow make a change ino ur lives and that of others.

Lauryn Hill, born 26 May 1975 is a woman that is still relevant today in her music despite not releasing in years. She continues to inspire and just like the picture, which best described her music, allows us the opportunity to reflect on ourselves and the world we live in - as if the sound of her hoarse yet soulful voice hypnotises us to listen a little more.

Whenever I needed to find myself again, think and be at a serene place Lauryn knew how to take me there. Besides its where I first heard the title of this blog.

She has and stil remains my favourite artist of all time and I celebrate her as one of my top 31 ladies who have inspired me.

Everything is Everything

UYINGOMA!!!!!!!!!

The picture I was looking for was of Thandiswa Mazwai shaving her hair off in the video thathi sgubhu... That was my introduction to her ans some part of me I would discover for me because exactly a month later after seeing her in the video, I shaved my hair off thinking it was the coolest thing ever to hit planet earth - a woman who shaved her head and still looked like a girl. Of course little did I know I was still in Junior Primary and noone thought it was cool but rather funny and spent the first week being teased. When I think about it now I was such a punk.

I carried her and Bongo Maffin with me and with her new soloist person i followed with my undivided attention. I walked with her in my early high school years. buying her Zabalaza album three times and as i pursued my afrocentricity -  clothes and all. Its when I f

Thandiswa Mazwai continues to touch me and others through her unique voice and song. She continues to be the song of our nation,

So if ever a woman I had to include in my 31 ladies who have and continue to inspire me, I choose to celebrate her. She taught me that being black and being xhosa is not just beautiful and also sexy and a pride and honour I should carry everyday with who I am... It is me.

She calls on each and every person to stand fast in finding who they are, accepting that person and being proud of that person so we can stand for our nation and as an individual live.

"Ndiyaziqhenya ngawe mz'ontsundu"

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

A Woman With A Voice

You would think choosing a picture would be the easiest thing to do especially when it comes to celebrities (I stutter to use that word to describe this lady but it will do for now) but it was too difficult choosing a picture that would best display in one glance the power this woman has and continues to share with the world. Power in her sound, power in her words and power in who and what she is in every single aspect. Choosing a title for her, came with no dificulty because she has shown that she is a woman with a voice not only in her music but also in social issues that need to be addressed in our country, South Africa and it is a voice to be heard by many and has been heard my many including myself - Im still listening and growing, Mind and Spirit.

I wont give away her age because it is said a woman's age is her secret(google it..ssssshhh) but she was born in Gcuwa in the transkei,Eastern Cape (I am from Mthatha...shine - transkei tendancies) and my co groupie for Ms Dana would be my grandmother who resides in butterworth as she would proudly say she knows the dana family (the policeman) and we would pride ourselves in that in our hearts weve always known Simphiwe Dana (please dont tell my gran I just exposed her).

Your music has fed me and taught me to stand, to reflect and give thanks. I continue to feel good in my skin through women like you and for that it gives me great honour and privillege to celebrate you as one of my 31 women who inspire me for women;s month.

To sis Simphiwe, you havent reached forty yet and they say life begins and forty...I wait with anticipation what that beginning has in store for the rest of us all. Keep shining and keep being that change and inspiration#Simamele

ZANDISILE

Everything is Everything

DEFINITLY A MUST SEE

Ladies and Gentlemen...... PUMZA MOOI

CHECK HER BLOG OUT: http://pumzamooi.blogspot.com/

Faith Like Poatoes - PUMZA MOOI,an HIV Conquerer

Faith like potatoes is the only title i could think about to describe Pumza Mooi's journey. I was blessed enough to be at the SAICA Camp 2011 Eastern Cape to hear her story but that's a blogpost for another day. Faith Like Potatoes is a christian movie that reveals a faith so strong it can move mountains, so strong it makes the impossible possible from a woman waking up after striked by lightning and presumed dead (please don't run to the graveyard now, thats why its called a miracle) and potatoes growing from a drought (hence the title). With enought faith and hope you could believe the movie having been based on a true story, as a christian i believe.

I will not tell Pumza's story in all its fruits for a story is best told by the writer himself(in this case herself) ans as such will leave it to Pumza. I am just hear to share her faith because like it is changing mine, Im sure will change your mind.

Pumza was diagnosed with HIV on 20 March 2001 and at the time she was pregnant with her first daughter.Fortunately, she gave birth to a beautiful and healthy babygirl. As Pumza says in her story, shock is the first to consume your mind and many questions and confusion but after which and during you have to options: Life or Death.Pumza chose life. I remember listening to her and she said : I said to myself HIV needs me to survive. If I die it dies with me, it needs a body to survive. She continues to say I said to HIV, if you want ot reside in my body, YOU WILL BEHAVE. You will not tell me when to die, I will tell you. It is at that moment i become the conquerer of my own life and the demons that roam in it. It is at that point do I decide to heal myself or at least start a strong fight to do so.

Pumza changed her lifestyle of drinking to a more healthy and responsible to help survive what many would call an enemy but to her just a temporary guest.

Life is a journey not for the faint hearted but even warriors get injured. Pumza committed suicide a couple of times but had nothing to do with her status but other life's challenges. She is currently in the process of divorcing her husband but today she still stands strong.

Her power, faith and perserverance carries on through journey. A piece from her blog as she tells her story: "

Our South African HIV campaign “Scrutinise” has a slogan “FLIP HIV to HI VICTORY”. So I decided to look up the word “victory “and what it really means. It means “the defeat of an enemy in battle”, “a successful ending of a struggle”. So what did it mean to have victory over HIV? To me, it meant total and complete healing. It has been and still is said that HIV is an incurable disease and that there is no cure for it yet. But I know a Healer, Who is able to heal any disease. So I decided to take Him up on His word. The word that He heals and I called on the name of Jesus in faith that He will heal me of HIV. I confessed so many times that I have been healed of HIV. I sounded really arrogant to some, to some even down right stupid. When I went to my Doctor to have my routine tests, I told her with a huge smile on my face that I was now HIV negative but the test revealed that I was still positive. That didn’t shake me because in my heart I believed that I had been healed. It was exciting; it was really a great feeling. I got to a point where I saw the virus like a scar left in my blood system by a disease that once lived in my body. You know, like when one has a scar after a healed operation. That’s how I saw it."

Pumza underwent a series of HIV Test after changing doctors. She continued with her healthy lifestyle and continued to sand fast in prayer and remained in complete faith. As of 22 February 2011, Pumza Mooi is HIV negative.

I could not help to share her story and i continue to do so as I am doing now and of course it came with alot of criticism but if nothing, believe this faith can move mountains and nothing is impossible if you truly believe and fight for it.

"Hope - Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but we still we set alarms to wake us up and still make plans for the coming day...thats hope. Hope in the Almighty for He is faithful and just."

NB: Both Pumza's daughters and her husband are and always have been HIV negative.

To Pumza Mooi, I pray you continue to live in the fatih that has kept u alive and has risen me form the dead. I pray that God carries you to continue to share your story and may he continue to bless you and your family richly.

To everyone who has taken the time to allow themselves to be inspired set your light and that of others shining.

Check out Pumza's full story and other inspiring pieces on her blog: http://pumzamooi.blogspot.com/

Everything is Everything

A couple of words form Les Brown

allign yourself with people who think and dream like you.

...change your liabilities within, improve your standards.

..start saying yes to your life, dreams and potential.

..dont allow your past to restrict your possibilities.

..someones opinion of you should never be your reality.

..you get in life what you want and not what you are.

..find your purpose.

..make a comitment to be happy.

..in life people fail because they aim too low and miss, aim high.

- Les Brown

lessons from others-what happens in heaven when we pray

 
 
 

Something to think about every day.

 

 


This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:


I dreamed that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.  We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.  My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said,  'This is the Receiving Section.  Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.  I  looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.  Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.    The  angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.  Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."  I noticed again how busy it was there.  There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.    Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station.  To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me.  He seemed embarrassed."  How is it that there is no work going on here? ' I asked.    "So sad," the angel sighed.  "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments"   
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings? " I  asked..    "Simple,"  the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord. "  "What blessings should they acknowledge?"  I asked.    "If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world.  If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. "   "And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."   "If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "    "If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."  "If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."     "If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare."   "If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair." Ok, what now?  How can I start?   If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.   Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are   ATTN:   Acknowledge Dept.  "Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability  to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. "    If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on ????
I thank God for everything, especially my family and friends!

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

a glimpse of Sos You Day-courtesy of Jimmy SuperSpar,Mila's Guest Lodge & Willing Buddies Guesthouse

MAJAIVANA

SADLA!!!!!!

Gumboots by SOS BOYS

"Be the change you want to see in the world"-Mahatma Ghandi

"This is our day" would probably have been the better and more suitable Title quote rather than the one I used considering I'm reporting on my youth day with SOS Mthatha Village but everything linked to that day and everything it teaches us,asks to do is best represented by Ghandi's saying.

SOS Mthatha Village is a home for abandoned children and those from unbearable circumstances.It is part of an international organisation formed at ther end of World War 2.

The Mthatha Village houses about 140 children including those in external homes.

The Youth of today is always compared to that of 1976 and we are posed with the questions of what we stand for and are fighting for except twitter and facebook and it is such homes that remind me and remind evry human being that we have struggles.the struggle to overcome our background,struggling to find ourselves and individual struggles of everyday that only take courage to fight.

Strive Push Consultants proposed to do a Youth day event of which was held at the village on 16 June 2011.

The day was aimed at motivating the children and this is exactly what it did and also gave them knowledge in terms of their career path with major lesson of education being a highlight. Moreso we also celebrated ourselves and commemorated the youth of 1976 and also highlighting that the youth of today also have their own struggle though it may differ from back then but is also important.the day was filled with activities and it was beautiful and inspiring to see the children interact and showing us some dance moves.

The day was surrounded by love,laughter and victory.As much as I am overjoyed that all the children learnt a lot I learnt a lot from them.I acquired strength from theirs.

There is no greater gift than that of giving.not because it clears your conscious but because you learn more about yourself through others.You receive even though you might not always realise it.

I have learnt a great deal of people, their kindness and willingness to give and I thank Strive Push Consultants Mthatha's Jimmy SuperSpar, Mila's Guest Lodge and Willing Buddies GuestHouse for showing me that the spirit of uBuntu still exist and also allowing themselves to be the change in the world including all the stuff at SOS Mthatha Village and the children.

Courage is being able to live through a new day with everything it brings whether painful or joyful because not everyone faces it.Courage is asking more of yourself even though you may not know what lives in you.Courage is continuing to walk with ur bleeding and wounded legs.

I Loved my june 16 this year,I felt like I shared it with the world.

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

I WRITE WHAT I LIKE - IN COMMEMORATION OF JUNE 16 1976(FOR YOUTH FROM THEN UNTIL NOW)

jUNE 16

Back From the Dead

Hopefully none of you like me has been watching vampire diaries season 2 otherwise you will really believe I literally wokeup from the dead.

I have been so quiet for so long, I might as well could have been mistaken for dead but then again I have been dead for ages and I've been at my deadest (and yes figuratively I can be more than dead).things just kept on killing me. However, my absence was not a reflection of my journey but rather an accumulation of something powerful to share.

I have had a revelation.Yes, we have revelations everyday but this one was thee revelation,I needed to begin living,to move one. I heard iyanla say on Oprah until you heal your past,you will continue to bleed and bleed and so before I'm sucked out dry I thought I would listen...still not the revelation though it got me thinking of me and all the weapons that had killed me or lack thereof to save me.

At first I said, I'm finding anie(that's me) and then my revelation came...I can't be finding anie..wen I find her what do I do with her?then I said in pursuit of anie..I find her,I learn what to do with her,how to deal with her,how to pursue her everything and her to love her and then I don't need to pursue happiness and everything else...because if I can pursue anie I can get anything from her.

And with that I have risen and continue to rise,I hope u do the same.

I have a very good and close friend and sister.I love her and thank God everyday from her because she stimulates my growth and my hidden unhidden beauty.she gives me a platform to meditate and to learn to live- I hope you have one of those. Anyway she puts up a bbm status that reads when you are honest about what you want,life will give it to you..just when I had my revelation and for me it held a great translation for where I was,for where I am and where I am going...it had so much depth and power for me see dt part about being honest about what you want asks a lot of you.it asks you to know yourslf better and andastand yourslf.it is with that that you realise your purpose and from thr u rly estblish what u want and are realistic and honest about what you want.

As corny as this is going to sound, I got my glasses the other day and I laugh now because they have more than just improved my vision physically but in everything else too.I see the everything in my new eyes...

I am back from the dead-"Peace from Broken Pieces"(iyanla)

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

lessons from others

Responses to AdversityJune 8 
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Hab. 3:17-18).
When we experience adversity, we generally respond in one of three ways: (1) we become angry; (2) we try to gut it out; or (3) we accept it with joy.
AngerWhen adversity comes our way, we say, "Why me, Lord?" We become bitter and resentful and blame God and others for our problems. We view ourselves as victims and demand that God answer our accusing questions: "Why don't You love me, Lord? We feel entitled to life, health, wealth, and happiness.
Gutting It OutAnother way we respond to adversity is by adopting a stoic attitude, repressing our emotions. We lie to ourselves and say, "I'm gutting it out. I'm demonstrating endurance." In reality, we are merely isolating ourselves with a shell of false bravado. We don't meditate on God's love, we don't pray, we don't believe God really has anything good planned for us. We simply tell ourselves, "This will soon be over. I'm a survivor." We never receive what God has planned for us if we stay here.
Acceptance with JoyThis is the response God seeks from us. When adversity comes, we rest in His love and trust that He knows best. We realize that nothing can happen to us without His permission. If there is pain in our lives, we know it's because God deems it necessary for our growth or wishes to use our pain to minister to others.
God revealed to the prophet Habakkuk that Israel was soon to be invaded by the Babylonians. Habakkuk knew that Israel was about to suffer intense adversity as part of God's loving discipline of His people. Habakkuk faced the looming national tragedy with an attitude of acceptance with joy.
If Habakkuk could be joyful in the face of a national calamity, then we can rejoice in the Lord no matter what comes our way.
 
TGIF (Today God is First) MugStart every day with your very own brand new TGIF (Today God is First) Mug! This heavy duty, ceramic mug has a matte black exterior with a white glossy interior. The front says "TGIF TODAY GOD IS FIRST" and the back says "www.todaygodisfirst.com" in gold lettering. The mug holds 16 ounces of beverage and is approximately 4-1/4" high. Great gift for family or co-workers!

Earl Klugh - This Time...Dear dad for all you gave me

Blu & Exile - Cold Hearted

Re - Introducition to rap: coldhearted by BLU & EXILE

Lyrics to Cold Hearted :

(feat. Miguel Jontel)

I was cold hearted and young, a dumb kid with a gun
Cause fun days don't last, the last nigga to laugh
So rap fell on my tongue, numb feelings remain
And pain comes and it goes
But my wounds shows the room where my pops beat my moms
Moms screamin' for help, myself hot as a sun
Cold hearted and young, a dumb kid with a gun
That I got from my pops top drawer
When he left my momma twice in a week
My momma lifeless and weak, spendin' her nights in the sheets
With seed killer number (one)
Seed killer number (two)
Seed killer number (three)
Got heat from the newborns scorned brother
Blu black hearted and young
Raps fell off his tongue
Numb feelings remain
The pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the tomb that now shelters my boy
My boy needed my help, myself not in the game
The game heartless and young
Dumb niggas with guns cause fun days don't last
The last nigga that blast got shots all in his back
Wrath fell on his soul but in my soul he remains
Pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the moon shining off of his blood
His blood ran through his moms
His moms ran outside
5 niggas with guns
Seed killer number (one)
Seed killer number (two)
Seed killer number (three)
Pulled the heat and he was through
Threw dirt on his casket his mom will re-mask it
Still couldn't hide tears years pass her son
Numb feelings remain
Pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the groom that still married my mom
My mom still had a son
Dumb kid with a gun, that I got from my pops
Top drawer when he left
My momma fightin' for years
My momma fightin' her tears
Now she gotta explain the game of her life to her son
But the sun still shines
Nine children and a newborn scorn brother two
Blu, life isn't young
Dumb kid with a tongue, that I got from Hip Hop
But she left me for you, so I'm a give her to you
Cold hearted and young

(feat. Miguel Jontel)

I was cold hearted and young, a dumb kid with a gun
Cause fun days don't last, the last nigga to laugh
So rap fell on my tongue, numb feelings remain
And pain comes and it goes
But my wounds shows the room where my pops beat my moms
Moms screamin' for help, myself hot as a sun
Cold hearted and young, a dumb kid with a gun
That I got from my pops top drawer
When he left my momma twice in a week
My momma lifeless and weak, spendin' her nights in the sheets
With seed killer number (one)
Seed killer number (two)
Seed killer number (three)
Got heat from the newborns scorned brother
Blu black hearted and young
Raps fell off his tongue
Numb feelings remain
The pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the tomb that now shelters my boy
My boy needed my help, myself not in the game
The game heartless and young
Dumb niggas with guns cause fun days don't last
The last nigga that blast got shots all in his back
Wrath fell on his soul but in my soul he remains
Pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the moon shining off of his blood
His blood ran through his moms
His moms ran outside
5 niggas with guns
Seed killer number (one)
Seed killer number (two)
Seed killer number (three)
Pulled the heat and he was through
Threw dirt on his casket his mom will re-mask it
Still couldn't hide tears years pass her son
Numb feelings remain
Pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the groom that still married my mom
My mom still had a son
Dumb kid with a gun, that I got from my pops
Top drawer when he left
My momma fightin' for years
My momma fightin' her tears
Now she gotta explain the game of her life to her son
But the sun still shines
Nine children and a newborn scorn brother two
Blu, life isn't young
Dumb kid with a tongue, that I got from Hip Hop
But she left me for you, so I'm a give her to you
Cold hearted and young

[ These are Cold Hearted Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhh (hahahahaha-chuckles)

Don't ask about my title it just seemed so appropriate because it came from nowhere as i was pondering what to call the piece on everything going on in my hart,soul and mind. Actually i blame my playlist filled with a mix of hiphop better yet rap (brown sugar best describes it as the difference between love and being in love)...


"Life is cold, cold is pain..pain is growth" no wait wait for it  he says five niggers with a gun :seed killer number1,seed killer number 2, seed killer number 3 while you bob to the psychedlirious beat.no listen to this guy He says:

"The pain comes and it goes
But my wounds show the tomb that now shelters my boy
My boy needed my help, myself not in the game
The game heartless and young" like who is this guy.He is dope no HE IS DOPEST (got me using words i don't usually use)

Infact I need you to introduce you to this boy: Blu & Exile revives rap sooo much he took me back to fugeela by the fugees....they need no introduction.

 and if you already knew him why have you been hiding him from me-underrated artist someone please gve him a grammy or even a metro award PLEEAAAAASSSSEEEE.

But rap in itsself has its own definition in music that i am yet to share. Before i do convert to a crackhead, i do feed my soul with jazz actually right now Earl klugh is my jazz.besides the childhood memories with my dad, i cannot run away from the way he can make his music feel pain and joy with no words but instruments.

These songs have been filling me up in ways I could never explain which brings me to my explanation for being so scarce. I forgot what this blog is about. With all the blogs i follow(capital of cool,quirkystylista and quirky anything) i find happiness even if its for a moment because it is things i love,things that make me laugh,things that are me but this blog to me is my journey, our journey. I have been feeling down and out and I thought these feelings and stop weren't for the blog but I have come to realise noone expects for joyful somethings all the time and when I don't share such deserts, I end the journey even though im still travelling. Its okay to be down, its okay to be cold,alone and down beacuse thats when we seek to find direction to leave nowhere

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hahahahahahahahahah.screaming has become a mecca for me, my place of momentarily contentment alongside everyone who continues to give me purpose in my life.

"Im only human, our inadequecies are what make us human, if we were perfect, what else would we strive for." and at that moment of the movie, i was the full me. This line comes with an acceptance or sort of self - forgiveness that we all need in our lives in order to live. For Coloured Girls, tyla perry unexpectedly steals my respect, my love for who he is through his writing and in his understanding of a woman's heart and soul. Do yourself a favour and watch that movie in one way or another, small or big it will bless you.....hahaha My love is too fulfilling and soulfeeding to be thrown back in my face.hahhahahahahaha i'll  remember that the next time a man tries to walk away with my stuff.....

Everyday, I still try to learn this live this new life without my father, everyday, i still learn to love myself and others and everyday i still go in search of whatever awaits me and everyday, I learn to live and i learn to live with myself.

ooooooooohhh la la la lalalala.....

God bless....

I have no idea if this blogpost makes sense...i just had to.... IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

THIS BLOG TO ME IS LIKE SCREAMING OUT LOUD...I LOVE IT...ITS LIBERATING FOR ME...IT IS A PART OF ME.IT IS ME. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A CHERRY ON TOP