The Job Interview

the thing about a job interview it doesn't start when you are sitting across your interviewer, oh no it starts waaaaaaaay before. It starts with a sort of self satisfaction of knowing you"ve managed to impress someone even before they have met you and enticed them to actually want to meet you and so with that self satisfaction you can't help to tell the world and at the same time weary about that action because it might just end like another William Shakespeare story - tragic.

As if that is not enough to keep your mind occupied you realise you need to look the part and great at it for that same interview....that in its self is a task for another day so i eagerly pick three outfits to lay on my bed for which my handsome boyfriend would choose from only to be attacked with we look good in all of them honey (im not going to deprive you of anything if you tell the truth - well i think i won't) so i try take pics of myself and send to my dearest friend nangi really wishing she was now with me so instead i start cursing all the friends here in stellenbosch for not helping choose an outfit - we cud have had wine and laughed anout boys afterwards.

By now, you probably reading and still asking yourself i cannot imagine what you could learn from a job interview except about the job. By theis time I've already reminded myslef how beautiful I am or at least told myself that over a billion times, reminded myself of gooed friends and good times and almost discovered things i love to do:clothes, wine and good good friends.

The day of my interview comes with a pinch of nervousness (okay fine a whole lot more) and whatever confidence out the window - when i think about it now it must be the best part of the process...embracing your vulnerability and controlling it and moulding it and loving it enough to let it go when you get to the interview which I have finally master after doing this a couple of times. This time was different.

On the the train to Cape Town, grey silk cowneck dress, grew pantyhouse and grey ankle boots and not forgetting my signature brown vintage handbag and bronze diamond studds. I almost felt to alive. Cape Town (that place still brings me to life and back to reality), feeling like a high powered new yorker as walk the streets and deciding on not taking a cab. This ofcourse is really sexy still i start getting lost and I start getting frustrated with my gps on my blackberry not giving directions and the talking one also known as my friend Mels. Yet after the curious stares, the compliments of the working men and the acknowledgement from so called colleagues it doesn't seem so bad infact I almost find a bit of me roaming amongst the faces.

Alas, I find my destination even better than I imagined it. I was in my future in all its pureness and some of the journeys I am still yet to travel almost seemed precious because each held some gift for me.

After my interview, I sat on the street benches facing the huge fall thta stood in the middle of the road and as the cold winter breeze tried to fight my red coat,i was at peace even if it was for a second and to end my gift as if to bless that my moment  I read a tweet that quotes a line from ee cummings "and i thank you for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes" and with that I hope this piece makes you laugh and learn something inbetween or  if not i hope you get some blessing from this line.

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

Ignorance is bliss - THEY LIE

I had spent the whole of monday, the 4th of April, excited to face one of my worst enemy - walking barefeet on campus. Oh gosh all those times of curses and frustration over the dreadful and as I thought misguided and lack of ettiqutte habit of my peers and their untasteful feet...But for a good cause I would.

Walk a day in my shoes and you will know the truth behind my tears, the laughter behind my joy and you will know me through yourself in order to seek a way to help me.

Monday night , toenails done and ready to march in kaalvoetdag for all those who don't have a choice. Oh but of cause my feet touched the earth and within minutes i felt their agony already as i try to find a spot with no glass but to be greeted by cowardice shoes by my peers.

How embarrassed was I when even i chose to conform and put my shoes back on.Who are we if we let material things as shoes define us.? Who are we when we cannot fight for i fellow people? Who are when we cannot stand for the wrong and yet we cry PRAY FOR JAPAN. So quick we are to condemn others but never ourselves.

To those who stood the thunder and dared to liberate yourself for the greater good, i take my hat unto you and to the rest of us. Our eat, pray and love journey seeks to fin dthat place of contentment to live in ourselves and within others so let this be the beginning...again.

They say IGNORANCE IS BLISS -THEY LIE!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

Loveletter To My Heart

Dear Heart

I write this letter with a fearful respect and the upmost caution for I have felt the power of your wrath and I wish not to displease you.

I thought I would write this letter to let you know what type of a man you need to take into my heart and tell of those you were never supposed to allow to start with but sumhow overnight, I have discovered that there are so many things that you control (to be honest, I think you control everything) because what is anything when you don't involve the heart.

You give me joy and peace, you give me tenderness and love, kindness and understanding, humility and patience but most importantly you give me life.

I could tell you of all the bitter things you have given me right til this point and i know more of the anger, sorrow and emptiness you've made me feel are still to come but I choose not to drown in the bowels of your cruelty for you give me so much more.

But while I am at it, allow for yourself a man who helps you give me all things sweet, a mine that keeps your beat balanced with an excitement of speed once in a while. I am not asking for much, just a man who loves me and only me for I am a representation of you. A man who makes me laugh and wants to be a part of me, a man who would try to give me at least a taste of heaven and just wants to be good to me.

If not a man, as I travel this journey of rebirth, let me not lose myslf in the old as i feel myself fade, allow me to be showered in all the beauty that I do not "see".

Lastly, do not listen to half the things I say in this letter for it is all the things you allow me to feel and do(good or bad) that allow me to explore further for some sort of fullfilment that I know you have saved for me and not the things I want to feel.

We must cry and laugh, for somewhere in between lies the beauty of the heart...of life and it is with that acceptance do we allow ourselves to be human...beautifully human. Just don't let yourself manifest in newly hiding places of unwanted feelings but rather seek to find them and experience them so as to create a greater gift for yourself.

I write this loveletter to you to remind myself that the acoustics are not allows in tune but it is with that you seek for that memorable sound.

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING