Firstly, I know my friends are tired of hearing me complain about never hosting another birthday celebration. Here is the truth, I most probably will. Yes, I daunted the stress that came with organisng everything because when you plan something you want it to go a certain way and if something goes wrong and you are a psycho like me, it almost creates a distaste for the whole thing. However, nothing beats that moment when that distate is smothered with love - it makes everything worthwhile.
The whole planning process for me was a journey of reflection of truth about where I am in my life and who actually was standing next to me.
You would think for some one who usually flies solo like me getting to 25 people in and around Cape Town would be easy. Infact that is when I realised I am on a journey.When you decide o having an intimate dinner, you want people tha will feel that room with warmth and love. You want to celebrate those people who have carried you through everything and loved you unconditionally and that is not always easily pinpointed.
I am imagined how walking into that room would be - warm. In turned out to be cold and empty and as the room filled up with my guests, it remained so with only droplets of love.At that moment, I knew that there were people who I still embraced who did not even deserve my glance.
Thank you to my mothers, I am now learning to CUT THE CHORD,a phenomena il leave for another day just so you keep an eye out for more posts in the future and no IM NOT PREGNANT.
The question everyone asked is how does it feel being 21 and most people would say it feels the same. It did not feel the same for me.I did not feel different because I turned 21 but i am different because of the love i realised i had experience and now knew I had as I turned 21. The love I am given is everything. The love people showed me and continue to show me is all i am - that is why I am still standing. Given the chance I would do it all again to give me the peace, the love and the strength that has come with being 21.
And although I have had to go of people I have held dear to my heart, those that are true remain.
To my family, you shine through me daily
To my friends. you remind me of the light that I hold
To him, you have given me the peace that has led me to cut the chord
To God, continue to mould me into the woman you have created me to be.
